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  • 02/23/11--07:14: Got to Be Real
  • It is so hard to believe and incredibly surreal that the first episode of The Real Housewives of Miami has finally aired!

    On Monday night, we held an incredible premiere party at the legendary Eden Roc Renaissance Miami Beach. The one and only fabulous Andy Cohen came down to Miami for it, and my mother and I adored meeting him. All the girls were there except for Larsa, who unfortunately had a prior commitment that made it impossible for her attend. She was definitely missed by all (Hi Larsa!).

    Now, on to the premiere episode: It was definitely an odd feeling, seeing myself on camera as I am usually behind the scenes as a publicist and owner of a PR company (The Patton Group). I went into this experience with an open mind and heart to take a journey with some women whom I have known for years and some that I did not know at all.

    Along the way I made some friends and found myself confused about the behavior of others. I was raised to be polite and keep all comments and thoughts of disdain to myself. Perhaps I will not be the most vocal/typical housewife that viewers have seen in the past, but I certainly did my best to be slightly entertaining through self-deprecating humor.

    I'm often asked about my experience during filming and I look back now and am amazed that I was able to find the time and energy run my company and find time to film. For some that may sound like a silly comment, but if you are in the public relations and events industry then you know how demanding this job is, and that it is essential to be on call 24/7. When I realized I could do it all it, I had an amazing feeling of accomplishment.

    Although we all filmed separately for the majority of the time and are all in the dark as to what will be revealed from our cast mates as the show goes on, I wish all five of my castmates Alexia, Lea, Cristy, Adriana, and Larsa all the best in the world.

    May this journey keep us all pure and real.

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  • 03/08/11--09:13: Slightly Sophomoric
  • Hi everyone!

    Thank you so much for all of your kind words, they mean the world to me. I am a little tardy with my blogging, so I have decided to combine last week’s and this week's together.

    Fortunately, I am blessed to be employed in this trying economy, which unfortunately does not allow me as much time to lunch with the ladies as I would like. Since I was busy in meetings, I had to miss Cristy's luncheon that day. I didn't care for her cook's dismissing tone when I called to cancel on the phone, but clearly he is not the most polished person on the planet.

    On that note, I was asked by so many of you to weigh in on Adriana's situation, and although I know this may sound like a cop out, I truly cannot give any kind of an opinion since I am not a parent. If I must weigh in at all, I can admit I too was forgotten at school on a few occasions. I turned out ok, so I'm giving this a pass.

    As for Cristy and Larsa's advice to Adriana, or their opinions on anything for that matter, I think we can all agree, although sophomoric in tone, nothing describes them better than: "babbling nincompoops."

    I began my career working for charitable foundations in Miami, (Miami Children's Hospital Foundation and Jackson Memorial Foundation), which is where I learned everything about fundraising, event planning, and public relations. It is always a pleasure to work with Lea on her gala, as it brings me back to the wonderful beginnings that made me who I am today. We truly enjoy managing her red carpet and press outreach, and I am very proud to announce that this year the gala will be held at my fantastic client's venue the Eden Roc Renaissance Miami Beach.

    If you are reading this you have now seen episode three, and had the chance to see a little more of my mother, which is what so many of you have been pleading for. I took Philippe to meet her, and he quickly discovered that she truly has a remarkable sense of humor, which is completely off the cuff, without calculation or at the expense of others. I don't know where she comes up with the things that come out of her mouth, and I don't want to know. I just adore every second of her lunacy.

    My mother started calling me Melissa this weekend and I replied "What?" She then said "I am like Jo Anne" Still confused, I asked "Who?" and my mother proceeded to say "You know the lady with all the plastic surgery that goes on TV with her daughter, Melissa." If you didn't catch on yet, she was referring to Joan Rivers. All I have to say is, Mom you are much funnier than Joan.

    What did you all think of Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen last week? Talk about uncomfortable; thank goodness I had that delicious Saint Crystal Apple Martini to help me get through the chaos…

    Speaking of chaos what did you think of Adriana's fiery gallery blow out? She really knows how to bring it!

    Things are heating up, so stay tuned for more!!!

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  • 03/15/11--15:42: The Lowdown
  • Thanks Bravo fans for tuning back in to RHMIA.

    On tonight's episode, my boyfriend surprised me by dropping a bomb at the place where we had our first date. We're engaged!! I was speechless.

    I've known Philippe for a long time and our relationship has evolved into something beautiful.

    It was so refreshing that he asked my parents for my hand before proposing and it is those values and traditions that I love most about him. I thought it was so sweet of Philippe to consult my mother about the wedding ring. I knew I recognized this stone from before; my mother and Philippe thought they were being so sneaky, while they were plotting the engagement out for weeks. My taste in jewelry is a bit ostentatious but this ring far exceeded all of my expectations.

    I was really excited to go to Alexia's for a dinner featuring a cultural tradition that I have grown up with "lechon." It wouldn't be the Real Housewives show without a bit of drama… so many of you have asked me how I felt about Lea's "green Card" comment.

    Here is the dirty lowdown…

    Perhaps it shocked a lot of people, but I've known Lea a long time and understand her sense of humor. I'm not going to lie, at that very moment it stung and hurt my feelings. Philippe and I were sharing our engagement with the rest of the ladies and Lea turned it into a bit of a joke. Nevertheless, I know Lea didn't mean it with ill intentions and all I can say is… Philippe and I are both quick to find humor in things where most people would not. We both laugh about the "green card" comment now every time we see the commercial.

    My first step towards wedding planning was finding the perfect dress with zero amount of time. I immediately thought of the fabulous fashion designer, Angel Sanchez who is one of the best gown designers and one of my personal favorite. Angel was kind enough to overnight a box of gorgeous wedding dresses (no Mom, not food) to choose from.

    I invited my mom and best friend, Frank, to help me pick the perfect dress for my big day. Although all three of us chose a different dress, in the end I decided.

    I hope you can tune in next week and join myself, Philippe, our friends and family as we all watch our intimate winter wedding for the very first time.

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  • 03/22/11--07:08: Just Married
  • Hi Everyone!

    I'm on the road driving with Mom to New York to see all of you at the clubhouse forWatch What Happens Live.

    It is really difficult to write all of the things I want to say about tonight's episode since I am in transit.

    To sum it up for me. . .I got hitched! I did it! I was so nervous, but I'm glad I went through with it.

    Philippe is a really wonderful man.

    I'm looking forward to all of your comments about the wedding.

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  • 03/29/11--14:16: Mom's the Word
  • Miami Housewives Finito!

    It has been absolutely wonderful getting to know so many of you via Facebook, Twitter, and even in chance encounters.

    When I received my wedding photos and called my mother over to share them with her. She always makes everything so fun and makes me laugh. What did you think about my mom's thoughts on being a grandmother?

    I think it's really great how Adriana is always working on spicing up her relationship with Frederic. I hope she gets everything she dreams of with him. He seems like a really great father figure for Alex.

    At the bitter end it was my turn to host a cooking party. After going to several of these cooking lessons, I observed very quickly that no one was interested in paying attention to the chefs, rather it was all about gossiping and horsing around. Instead of possibly insulting a well known chef by inviting him to teach an uninterested group of women to cook, I decided to keep things simple so we could all have fun and chat while indulging in food and wine. My husband Philippe has a food product that comes prepared and ready to serve, so we introduced it quickly to the ladies and went straight into what we do best -- "mingling."

    What I had hoped would be a fun evening turned into a dreadful experience for poor Mom. My entire life I have noticed that no matter where we are people always want to prod Mom for insight on their future which, if she feels something, she will. However, she is always respectful in that she pulls people aside for privacy when discussing someone's life as there is a time and a place for everything.

    When Larsa walked in to the party announcing that she didn't believe in psychics and challenged mom to convince her otherwise, my mother -- not wanting to discuss what she felt in front of everyone -- respectfully declined. However, Larsa kept insisting, so fast-forward to mom finally telling Larsa what she is picking up on.

    Unfortunately, Larsa was not prepared to hear anything other than that she is "perfect" so she spent the rest of the evening grabbing my mother and trying to convince her that her life was perfect and giving us a monologue of how contrary her life was to what mom was seeing. Cristy spent the majority of the night laughing with my mother and grabbing me to tell me how hysterical she was, so I'm not sure at what point she wanted my mother to "shut up." With that said, both of them should have changed the conversation, as I tried to do several times, if they didn't want it to continue.

    Following this dinner party some ugly things were said about my mother that are just too nasty to repeat! It is horrifying that grown women and mothers would talk that way about an elderly woman especially on camera.

    The entire dinner party that I hosted has really been bothering me for a long time and upsets me, so I would like to move on to a more pleasant topic: Lea's Garden Lunch.

    I had an absolute blast! Yes, it was hot outside, and yes, there were a million mosquitoes, but any chance to dress up and put a feather hat on my head, in my a good time! Thanks Lea, you always make everything so fun!

    I will truly miss hearing everyone's comments on the show, please keep writing me - I love hearing from all of you!

    Twitter: @MarysolPatton

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  • 09/14/12--06:52: Just Like a Pill
  • I'm so excited to be back again participating in the second season of The Real Housewives of Miami. Mama and I have so much fun filming together, and it is such a wonderful bonding experience.

    If you were a viewer last season, by now you know my husband Philippe and I have separated. This has been a very difficult and painful period in my life, which will unfold as the season progresses.

    You have now met our sweet little dog Napoleon, who we adopted from the Humane Society. Napoleon is very mischievous and loves the rattle of a bottle of pills so much so that he intoxicated himself and fell asleep in the closet. We had such an awful scare looking for him all over the neighborhood for two days. All along our sweet little angel was sleeping peacefully in the closet.

    In the final scene of the show, you all see Mama Elsa collapse at an event. Mother was overwhelmed with the crowd and the heat. She had spent several days not eating, because she was so upset about Napoleon being missing. This was such a frightening experience for me, but I did my best to keep calm, cool, and collected as I did not want to agitate mother or frighten her.

    Tune in next week for more fun and silly antics with me and Mama!

    You can follow me on Twitter @marysolpatton and friend me on Facebook at Marysol Patton.

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  • 09/20/12--17:17: Good Vibrations
  • Welcome back! I hope you enjoyed Episode 2. It’s great to see mom feeling better and receiving guests at home. Mom is very fond of Adriana, and they speak often about life’s trials and tribulations. Adriana visits mom, which turns into a little unsolicited advice regarding love. Basically mom sums up love as being palpable as long as you can "rest your head on a pillow full of money.”  I know Adriana will make the right choices for herself, and I don't blame her for being cautious with her choices. I on the other hand leave my personal life up to destiny.

    Mom decided to stop by my office to check out the vibes and make sure there wasn't any negative energy lingering from the Smith and Wollensky event mishap. Her method of choice for cleansing was dry rice and perfume. I know it probably doesn't make sense to most people, but I believe implicitly in anything my mother does spiritually. Truth be known, she has never thrown rice on me before, so it was a welcome change. And who knows, maybe I will get married again and again and again...

    The South Beach Food and Wine Festival had an interesting turn of events. Since I had to leave to the emergency room with mother, I had no idea a brouhaha had been brewing called "Rodolfogate.” On several occasions in the past I was out with Ana when she started getting flirtatious texts from Rodolfo. Neither I nor Ana knew that he had a girlfriend, so when he showed up to the event with Karent, it was a bit of a surprise. I personally had never met him before, and I felt bad for Karent when I realized they were dating for a while. It was a bitter pill to swallow hearing your boyfriend has been flirting with another women in front of a group of ladies. I think we all felt really bad, and as fellow women who have all had our ups and downs in relationships, a few of us thought she may want to know. I know Ana was hesitant to tell her, but when confronted with the issue, she didn't want to lie.

    To be continued...

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    I was flattered to be chosen as the subject of an article for Ocean Drive Magazine. Longtime friend and Ocean Drive Deputy Editor Bill Kearney shadowed me for an entire day witnessing firsthand how hectic my life can be. I wanted to give him a real look at my day, so we attended several business meetings and capped the night off with a personal social engagement. Our first stop was at the Eden Roc Renaissance Hotel in Miami Beach, a wonderful client of over four years. Renaissance was launching a global initiative for their brand; the events would take place on the same night at the same time at all of their properties. Talk about synchronicity! To pull something like that off requires a lot of work and attention to detail. We strive to deliver effective results and pride ourselves in producing the best events that garner premium and targeted press exposure. The pressure was on, but that’s how we roll. Go big or go home!

    Joanna and Romain were kind enough to invite all of us to the 10 year anniversary celebration of Mynt night club. Prior to the party, Lisa hosted a small gathering at her home, and there was some interesting conversation about my mom. Mom is often a topic of conversation, whether it is about how fabulous and incredible she is or the tiring old question, "What happened to her?" Most of the ladies comments were kind-hearted and well-intentioned. It seems most of them see past mom's physical appearance, except perhaps Lisa. I truly believe that in time Lisa will learn to see beyond mom's physical appearance and grow to love and appreciate her for all that she has to offer. After all, everyone loves mom!

    The conversation at Mynt made it painfully clear that the big blondes had forgotten their daily dose of ginkgo biloba. It is the only thing that would explain such an inaccurate recollection of events that took place. Anyone that has spent any time with me knows how seriously I take my job. Too seriously in fact. So much so that it has cost me, especially in my personal life. The Patton Group is my life, my husband, my child, my best friend. Whoever would suggest that I would take on a job and not attend to it with the utmost pride and attention to detail clearly does not know me. I suppose anyone that is deliberately trying to hurt me would target my business. It's my bull’s-eye. Lies seem to unravel in the most unflattering ways. So whether this whole debacle is a deliberate misstatement of facts to make me look bad or the incoherent rants of someone whose memory is faltering, I will find solace in the knowledge that the truth will come out in time.

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    This week has been crazy for me! I’ve been working client events every night!

    To keep it brief, I just want to say how grateful I am to have such loyal friends in my life like Ana and Alexia. I cannot believe the things that Lea and Elaine were saying about me behind my back. It's weird for adults to behave in that way, but it's nice to see my friends come to my defense.

    Ana and Alexia have both been in my life for a long time, and we really do have a special bond. Lea and I had a special bond as well, and now it is broken. I really have nothing else to say about the remarks that were made. To respond to those lies would give it legs, and since they are completely false accusations about me and my company, I would rather not address it at all.

    Anyway, tune in next week for more drama, drama, drama!


    Follow me on Twitter @marysolpatton.

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  • 10/11/12--15:18: Elsa's Dance Moves
  • Mom was so funny in last night’s episode! She had a blast at the Hearts and Stars event and arrived ready to dance; mom’s true character came out.

    Unfortunately, Lea knows just what to say to ruin a good time. Her “green card” comment was completely heartless. Just because you say it’s a joke and laugh doesn’t make it hurt any less, especially when she knew I was going through a painful separation. Just heartless! Sometimes Lea really doesn’t know when to keep her mouth shut and take a few minutes to think before she speaks.

    She has been spewing lies about me for the past two episodes, and then expects me to “not take it personally” and believe she wants me at the gala. Please! Her “invitation” was a back-handed dig she’s been regurgitating for years. She needs to stop saying she tried to help me. On what planet? When? How? Everything I have I built myself with no help from her whatsoever. Lea owes me an apology, but instead I see her and Elaine continuously bashing me at every social gathering they attend, and it’s coming back to me from everyone. Lea, it’s been two years, and remember, you were not the client, I was the volunteer who refused to volunteer again for this year’s event. Move on already!

    Karent inviting us to Thomas Kramer’s party was weird. I’ve been going to his parties for the past eighteen years (he is like my wicked, evil stepbrother!), and I’ve never once seen her there. Adriana has clearly had it with Karent’s antics, and I just sit back and watch. I love Adriana, she just cracks me up!

    For more, friend me on Facebook at Marysol Patton or follow me on Twitter @marysolpatton.

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  • 10/18/12--15:00: Alexia's Self-Sacrifice
  • I’m hesitant to write my blog after this episode, because I hate to be repetitive and beat a dead horse. Lea, I guess in an attempt to pretend she likes me and wants me at her fundraiser, invites me again. There is nothing wrong with that, but I’m just not feeling it, and there is too much gossip and bad blood at this point. I bring to her attention that I am going through a painful and confusing time in my life with my separation, but she doesn’t stop talking beyond the sound barrier to hear what I am saying. I couldn’t get a word in edge wise and was dismissed as “giving too much importance to non-important things.” I’m getting divorced for the love of God, where is the non-importance in that? It is very important to me, and it is emotionally consuming me beyond anyone’s imagination. I’m sure if Lea and her husband were going through a divorce, she wouldn’t think it was a “non-important issue” and no amount of jokes would go without castigation.

    It is becoming increasingly uncomfortable to go to any social gathering, because Lea drags The Big Blonde with her everywhere now. He is always making snide and nasty remarks about me even when I am standing right next to him. Running into him at every social gathering is so unpleasant and uncomfortable. At this point, I prefer not to go to anymore functions if he is going to be in attendance. I often ask anyone I can if he will be at an event I am attending so that I can avoid him and avoid his drama.

    Much of the gossip that Lea and The Big Blonde have been spreading has made it to my mother’s ears, and she is not a happy camper. She is social with Lea, but she knows who she really is. Mother decides to give The Big Blonde a piece of her mind in my defense. I’m sure his mother would have done the same for him, that’s what mother’s do. I don’t like to see my mother get so upset, and I would have preferred the whole thing to never have happened, but sometimes things just need to be said.

    In my opinion, all the drama going on this season and all of the individual pain and struggles we are suffering pale in comparison to Alexia’s tragedy. It just broke my heart in a million pieces to see her crying about Frankie. She has always been so spiritual and strong in front of everyone throughout the entire year since Frankie’s accident. Even the day of the accident, I ran to the hospital destroyed and crying so worried about my friend and her son, and the moment I saw her so strong and holding her emotions together, she showed me what in incredible mother she was. Alexia gave me the emotional strength to think positive and pray for Frankie’s survival and full recovery. It has been a long road, and Alexia has dedicated all of her time to Frankie. Most people will never know what an amazing example of self-sacrifice and motherhood she is. I don’t have children of my own, but if I did, I could only hope to be half the mother that my friend is.

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  • 10/25/12--13:16: Karent's Reckless Behavior
  • A recent article had come out in our local newspaper, The Miami Herald, which was rather insulting and had been eating away at me for a few weeks. The article painted a disrespectful and insulting picture of the hard working women in our cast, and quite frankly the entire Housewives franchise.
    As a result of this article, you may have noticed a lack of patience on my part towards Karent and her recent social blunders. No, I am not jumping on the band wagon to beat up on Karent, because quite frankly, I do not dislike her. I did however think this article was inappropriate, insulting, and could have been completely avoided.
    I arrived at Lisa’s lingerie fundraising event quite happy to be there. I think Lisa did a great job, and I see many philanthropic strides in her future. I had not been at the event more than three minutes and was barely clinging to my cocktail when Karent swoops in to tell me that my attire is not acceptable to Joanna’s liking. Really? I mean, I barely know Karent. We have exchanged a few hellos and glances up until this point. In fact, she hardly knew any of us. Furthermore, if Joanna was so upset, she could have very easily come up to me and we would have discussed it, which we eventually did later that evening.
    This welcome to the party "greeting" by Karent irritated me tremendously; and as we saw in this episode, it clearly set the tone for the disaster that became the rest of the evening. While no one really wants to attack or shift the blame to anyone specifically, we also cannot ignore the fact that Karent was somehow connected to the unfortunate events that followed.

    I decided to chat a bit with Lea and Joe, who noticed Joanna and proceeded to tell a story about how they had met years back. The story was a bit unsavory and definitely not one to be repeated. Karent asked if he had a similar meeting/encounter with Joanna’s sister, Marta, and it was all downhill from there. Not only was it inappropriate to ask someone if they "had slept with both of them," but to drag Joe over to Joanna to repeat the story in front of her fiancé was beyond reckless. Everyone knows that Joanna and Romain were already having problems in their relationship. This was fuel to the fire, not to mention that it put Romain at risk of a physical altercation.

    So not only was I being warned of impending doom because of my clothing choice, but now Joanna was crying, Joe was irritated, and Romain was in disbelief and trying to hold himself together. This created a domino effect of anger that carried through the entire evening; and as you will see, it escalated far beyond anything I have ever witnessed in my entire life.

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    Poor Lisa! I know Lisa worked very hard to put together the perfect fundraiser, and it was such a shame that such a beautiful intention was destroyed by so much havoc and chaos. In hindsight, I wish I had rented a helicopter with mom and dumped sacks of rice and holy water over the house to spook that Joo Joo that was looming over the party.

    A few people, and I mean very few, asked me if I was really wearing fur at Lisa’s lingerie party. It was 999 degrees outside, no one in their right mind would be wearing a fur in that weather. The bolero is made of a light fluffy feathery type of fabric, which could be marabou. I love my little jacket all the more because it is a family heirloom from my paternal grandmother. I do own fur, and I have worn it for many years, and I will continue to wear the pieces that I already own, just not around Joanna.

    Then there is the fight, which was ONE of the most frightening things I have ever seen in my life; everyone was really shaken up. It was a dreadful situation for everyone (those directly involved and the onlookers). I hope I never have to witness anything like that again. But there is a light at the end of this long, dark tunnel and that is that Lisa raised money for the Susan G. Komen Foundation, a cause that is very close to my heart.

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    It was more than just coincidence that Ana and I were simultaneously going through separations from our husbands. Ana has always been a dear friend to me, especially through the painful times I had experienced trying to decide if divorcing was the right choice. When I saw Ana moving out of the office she built with Robert so many decades ago, I couldn't help but cry. I know it took every ounce of emotional strength she had to pack those boxes and walk away from the last string that attached her to Robert on a daily basis.

    Lisa's talk with Karent was another difficult scene to watch. I know first-hand what it is like to have the years fly by and never being able to conceive. Now it's too late for me, but Lisa is young and strong and I know she will be a mother, somehow, one day. Like Karent said, sometimes our desires and God's plan do not coincide at the exact same time.

    Ahh the dinner at Alexia's -- what a night! Yes, I was upset about the article coupled with the silly incident at the lingerie party, but I felt that I needed to get it off my chest so we could move forward. I truly feel that Karent is not a malicious person and I do not dislike her at all. I felt that if I expressed why I was upset she would understand and that we would not have another issue. Subsequently, we have never had another problem and I hope things stay that way.

    I was so excited when I saw Joanna and Adriana make up and shake hands. I quickly realized that they just wanted to end the discussion and get the hell out of there but they both have such strong personalities, so this is far from over. . .

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    We open the show with my mother visiting Lea. It was a funny exchange watching Lea explain how the woman mom argued with is really a man dressed as a character. Mom’s reaction was priceless, as usual. The rest of the conversation is just too tiresome to re-hash week after week so I will skip any further commentary.

    By now you have met the fabulous Lauren Foster, who accompanied me to the Lisa Pliner luncheon. Lisa approached Lauren to donate items for her event gift bag from the Miami Institute where Lauren is employed, as well as invited her to attend. We were excited to go to the luncheon and I was looking forward to seeing many of the Miami ladies I socialize with on a regular basis. When I saw the episode and heard what Lisa said, I was in shock! I had a very different conversation with her which was via text message. Lisa had asked me on several occasions if I had recommendations for staging and catering that would be interested in donating their products and services. Since I don’t rent out furniture or own staging equipment, I couldn’t help her with that request. Philippe, my husband at the time, owns a catering business but he was in France for several months because his grandmother had passed, so I could not offer his catering services. Someone told me that Elaine was hosting the event and that usual dread came over me that I get when I know I am going to run into him. I asked Lisa if she had hired him to host via text, she responded “Maybe because.” I wasn’t quite sure what she meant and I responded “? why?” I didn’t understand what she meant so I said “? why?” meaning “What? Because why?” She answered that if Elaine was charging she would not going to use him, so I offered recommendations just as I had with the other elements of her event. She mentioned two separate times that she did not want to use him if he was going to charge her.

    I didn’t think anything of the conversation as I get asked on a daily basis from friends for help for their personal events as well as their charities. It is very easy for me to extend a helping hand as this is something I have been doing for decades. I am very busy and I try to help my friends via email or text while I multi-task at the office. I have too much going on each day and phone conversations tend to take up too much time, especially with friends. I always help those who ask me if it is within my power. If there is one thing I do not like to do it is to say no to someone, it’s just my nature to try to help everyone out. I don’t blame James for being upset, but he was not told the truth and that I can prove!

    Dinner at Thomas Kramer’s, what can I say, another night of insults and people being thrown out. It is sad to admit, but this dinner scene was one I had witnessed pretty much every time I had been to his house for a gathering over the last 18 years. It was difficult for Ana to understand why I would not say something to Thomas for the way he spoke to her, but my actions (leaving the dinner with her) spoke louder than any words I could have uttered at that moment. I knew too well how any comments I could have made on her behalf would have escalated his anger.

    I am very different than Ana and some of the other women on the show. I am soft spoken and non-confrontational -– it’s just who I am and I don’t apologize for it. If we were all the same, the world and the show would be without color, variety, and excitement. I know Ana feels the need to step in and defend me sometimes, but it is her nature and calling in life as an attorney. I love Ana and I appreciate when she steps in and feels the need to speak up on my behalf if I am not present, but this is something she does because it is her instinct. I do not ask her to do it nor is Ana one that can be told what to say or how to act and I respect that about her.

    Since I had left with Ana, I did not witness the vulgarity of Thomas’ tone with my mother. I had seen him behave this way with countless people over the years, but never with my mother. I have never spoken to Thomas again after that dinner party and I really do not see myself getting over his behavior towards my mother and friend. Mom was not surprised by the way Thomas spoke to her because she too had seen him act this way before over the years. I think we both have grown too old and tired to put up with that kind of behavior anymore.

    Follow me on Twitter @marysolpatton and follow Mama Elsa @elsapatton.

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    I’m sure you are ALL wondering how mom and I get our flawless youthful looks, well the cat’s out of the bag! “Cryogenics Night” is a weekly slumber routine with mom, but a daily one for me. I basically keep my home as cold as it can possibly get and wear winter clothes inside in hopes of freezing myself into staying forever young. Even my pets wear sweaters! Now that I think of it, my cat is still alive and has been around a lot longer than anticipated.

    Mother predicts a wicked storm and trouble amongst the ladies in Bimini. I was really looking forward to this bonding trip, so mom’s warnings made me feel as though I was going to be clear of any drama. “PHEW!”

    Cut to Lea and her evil friend. All I can say is they both are “LIARS”-- confirmed, case closed!

    We arrive at the airport and Adriana forgets her passport, the weather warnings are severe, and the captain urges us to board the plane, so we leave without Adriana.

    Something you may not know about me is that I am paranoid of being in any kind of accident (that is why I don’t do any sports or exercise). I immediately prepared for our flight over the Bermuda Triangle by securing my flotation device and making sure I could access a flare gun. I just couldn’t picture “my end” plummeting into the sea and being consumed by a watery grave. I am a safety freak, perfectionist, and majorly OCD.

    We have our first dinner as a group and decide to go around the table and discuss our personal torments. I can’t explain my emotions in regards to my marriage, it was something that was changing weekly depending on if Philippe and I were getting along. Unless you have felt the confusion that I felt, you will never understand what happened with me and Philippe. I guess it was God’s plan, but no matter what I will always love him and consider him family.

    The Karent/Rodolfo conversation was a tough call. Alexia really did not want to say anything, since she didn’t feel it was her place. We all struggled and discussed at nauseum whether it was better to keep it to ourselves or to share the information. We all asked ourselves, would “WE” in the same situation want to know. We agreed that it would be best if Alexia shared the information with Karent’s closest friend Lisa and then let her decide whether she wanted to tell Karent. To this day I’m not sure why Karent had to be told about the article in front of all of us; it had to have been very painful and humiliating. If I was Lisa, I would have taken her into a private room alone to tell her.

    Stay tuned for next week, it’s getting better and better…

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  • 12/13/12--16:15: Lea's Nasty Comments
  • Wow!  It seems that any chance Lea has to make a snarky, nasty comment about me, she takes and goes full force, and now she has taken things way too far. For most of you watching since Season 1, our show was taped a year prior to being aired. I was actually married on March 25, 2010, my husband and I separated in December 2011. After many emotional attempts to reconcile, we went back and forth for months and finally decided to proceed with our divorce this past summer, July 30, 2012 –- knowing that there’s always an option to reunite if it felt right. In no way is it appropriate and out of context to make fun of the downfall of someone else’s marriage. The difference between us is that I don’t find pleasure in hurting others.

    As far as Karent’s relationship with Rodolfo, I don’t know them on a personal level and I don’t stick my nose in other people’s relationships. While we were in Bimini, Mom asked me to call her every day to fill her in on what was happening. I can never predict how my mother is going to react, but she was right about Karent’s personal life not being anyone’s business, and I couldn’t agree more. I know everyone felt uncomfortable having the article laying around so Alexia decided to rip it up and flush it down the toilet and it was never brought up again.

    Ana decides to cook a lovely dinner and invite the other ladies over to our house. I was really looking forward to a nice meal and pleasant conversation, however the evening’s tone turned very quickly the minute we sat down.  Let’s just say, there was no bread to break.  First topic of conversation was Lisa Pliner and the big blonde and how he felt that I did not apologize even though I did -– twice. In efforts to eliminate expenses, Lisa texted me that she did not want to use James to host her event if he was going to charge her.  Not only did she say it once, but twice in a text message and admitted it on camera to Ana and me -– end of story. She knew she couldn’t lie to me and tell me the story she told everyone else and get away with it, because I had the proof in a text message from her. Why did Lisa and the big blonde go to such great lengths to create all this drama? If I had to guess, it would be a combination of fame hungry sprinkled with the desperate desire to be on TV.

    Quite often, Lea likes to throw around contentious words like “denial” when she is talking or referring to me. She is right about one thing: I was in denial to ever believe she could have been my friend. She doesn’t know the true meaning of friendship or camaraderie; it seems she doesn’t like other women and thrives on hurting them with nasty insults. Let it be clear that just because someone is louder and more hysterically animated when they speak does not mean they are telling the truth. Just because I am calm and soft spoken by nature, does not mean I am hiding or omitting anything. No one knows what exactly happened at Lea’s gala except for her employees and mine. I know the conversation seemed confusing to the rest of the ladies and probably to the viewers, but that is the language of our business and if you weren’t an intricate part of the daily details, it is difficult to understand this situation.

    To clarify, I volunteered the services of my staff to work on the gala press two out of three years, so figure about three months of work per gala (six months in total). We take our work very seriously, whether we are paid or not. The Black’s gala was not properly staffed to assist my team in executing the red carpet. If her donors were so important to her, she should have sent their names to us in advance so my staff was prepared to recognize and receive them on the red carpet. We asked several times for the names and we only received two names the day before the gala. Sending the names (and photos) of your VIP’s or sponsors to a PR firm is essential and is standard event protocol.  This insures that people who so generously have helped you create the evening are recognized and are escorted down the red carpet. Neither myself nor my staff could ever begin to guess who gives the Black’s big sponsorship dollars. Many of those relationships are cultivated through personal friends and business associates and are people that are not often in the limelight.  The lack of transferring this simple information to my team could have avoided whatever problems she had with the people that were important to her foundation.

    I knew she blew everything up at my expense to create drama around her gala again.  I’m not surprised by this behavior, since Lea surrounds herself with dregs of society so she must assume that everyone is just as underhanded and calculating (birds of a feather).

    On one last note, I would like to say that while I was filming this season I was an emotional mess and there wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t break down and cry at least three times. My parent’s health, 50 year marriage, and my marriage were all falling apart and subsequently so was I. I tried very hard to hide my tears and hurt for the cameras, but by the time we got to Bimini and Lea and I argued for what seemed hours, I just cracked. I know it seemed like a touching moment, but at the time Charles Manson could have hugged me and I would have collapsed in tears. I wish I could take back everything I said to Lea when she hugged me. Had I known all the things she had been saying behind my back on camera leading up to that dinner, things would have been quite different.

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    Ahhh… the end is here and we have all been forced to face so many demons we dredged up, I felt it was time to bring some Mama Elsa spirituality into the group. I proposed to the girls a spiritual cleansing ritual that my mother taught me as a young girl in order to put the demons that haunt us to rest. I truly hope that all the ladies find the peace and happiness they all desire and deserve.

    For Adriana, I hope that she can learn to trust again and that marrying Frederic will be the greatest thing she could do for herself and Alex. Frederic is not only an amazing man but also a wonderful and loving father to Alex, and I am so happy Adriana has the love she deserves.

    For Lisa, I hope that she will have the family she has longed for. I have faith and believe that her dreams are right around the corner waiting for her…

    For Ana, I hope that her life and that of her daughters is a happy one regardless of her divorce from Robert. She has raised two amazing daughters, who are much stronger than she thinks they are, and through them she will gain her emotional strength.

    For Alexia, I pray that everyday Frankie gets closer to the place he was before the accident. I know this has been so hard for her and her family, and I hope that their love and unbreakable bond as a family becomes stronger through all of the obstacles that have touched their lives.

    For Joanna, I hope that she and Romain continue loving each other with respect and with that, find peace in their relationship to make it official and become husband and wife.

    For Karent, I hope that she finds a great man that loves her and only her for everything she has to offer. I also hope that she too has that family that she desires very, very soon!

    For Lea, I hope that she can learn to put the past behind her and also find the good in everyone she encounters, regardless of if they don’t see eye to eye with her.

    I knew Philippe and I were finally going to go through with the divorce as we were finally both in agreement. There will always be a special place in my heart for him. I am aware how painful this process was for him, he took it especially hard since it was his first marriage. Philippe and I have been divorced for 4 months now. I hope that he finds the perfect woman for him that will give him everything that I couldn’t and love him the way he deserves.

    Tonight we celebrated a decade of The Patton Group being in business. I have worked tirelessly and sacrificed relationships and family to build my business and tonight is a representation of all of those years of hard work. I was delighted to have so many friends, family, and business associates there to celebrate with me. When I met with Elaine to bury the hatchet, I hired him to perform at my company anniversary party. We kept this performance top secret so that we could surprise everyone. I think it was quite a shock!

    I hope everyone has a Happy Holiday and a wonderful 2013!

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    I’d like to use my blog to reflect on all of the positive things that being a part of The Real Housewives of Miami brought to my life. Being a part of the show taught me many valuable life lessons, which have made me a stronger person, and for that I am grateful.

    RHOM became a wonderful vehicle for my mother to bring laughter to so many people. I feel that the show has been an excellent outlet to keep my mother busy during a time when the excitement of everyday life has slowed down for her. The show brought me and my mother closer together, and through this adventure of working together her coffee, Havana Elsa, was created. It was such a thrill to make my mother’s dreams of having her own coffee come true. See it here:

    As I reflect back on my favorite moments this season, I truly enjoyed the time I spent in the house in Bimini with Ana, Alexia, and Adriana. It was so wonderful to just be the silly, playful girls that we are. I remember Ana and I fighting over who would get to share the room with Alexia (inside joke). Ana won, of course, like the savvy attorney that she is! Ana was making us these amazing drinks all day long that had about four different liquors and several different fruit juices. It truly was the nectar of the Gods. The three of us had a pillow fight that started out fun but soon turned competitive. Then I jumped so high on the mattress I hit my head on the ceiling fan. AHHH good times! Adriana would come out and model 52 outfits for us before each outing which was very funny. Then we would all jam in the bathroom to do our makeup. Ana does amazing eye shadow application and I was the designated fake eye lash applicator. It had been almost a year since Alexia’s son’s accident, so spending a few days alone with her, just us girls, was very special.

    Last, but not least, I met three new women that I probably would have never known had we not shared the experience of working together. In closing, I want to wish everyone a positive and joyous 2013. If you dream BIG and believe, great things will come to you!

    Lots of love and best wishes for an amazing 2013!


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